Time for some changes......

So, I spent last week on "vacation" from work. I used that time to do some massive thinking and soul searching. I had wayyy too much time on my hands. I pretty much hibernated. But it made me realize A LOT of things in my life.


1--Facebook consumes my life. My "friends" are there. My games are there. There are hot guys there. But, LIFE is not there. I need to take a break from it. Maybe one day....maybe a week. Who knows. But I have to stop watching everyone live their lives and sharing it on Facebook and start living MINE. I've come to realize that's what I've been doing. Gotta get online to see what everyone else is doing with their life. Meanwhile, I go to work, check it on my breaks and lunch, go home and stare at it all evening before I go to bed. That's not living life. Who knows, I may ignore facebook for awhile and still not really do anything (it IS winter, after all), but I have to stop this feeling that I'm missing something if I'm not on Facebook all the time. It's become an addiction and it's sad and draining.

2-Twitter. I used it to air my frustrations that I didn't feel comfortable sharing on Facebook. Twitter is where I would not censor myself at all. Bad words, bad attitudes....venting. I can't figure out how to delete it, so I've been deleting tweets. I've got it under 300 now and I guess I'll just leave it alone. I've unfollowed everyone I was following. Who knows. Maybe I'll post something here and there. Eh. Twitter wasn't much to me anyway.

3-Google plus. I used this mainly to share my blog and share music I like. Didn't get on it much. I've already deleted it.

Social media is my social life. I've decided I need a real one. Friends can comment, like, and share all they want to online; but in day to day life: it means NOTHING if you don't have REAL friendships. I don't know where all mine went and why everything is ALL online. I may regret leaving it; chances are I probably won't be gone long. God knows, all my real friends live too far away to hang out on a regular basis. So, I'm going to take time for me and my kids (that's going to annoy the shit out of them) I'm going to spend time with my parents. I'll text those that text me. I'll contact those that contact me.

If someone cares, they will find a way to get in touch with me. Otherwise, out of sight, out of mind. I know I'm setting myself up for a lot of disappointment because I know there are people that mean more to me than I do to them. But I have to.

I'm tired of fakeness. I'm tired of empty words on a screen. I'm tired of talking to someone for weeks, almost daily, and then suddenly being cast aside. With  no explanation. No warning. Just silence.

I hate silence. I think that hurts worse than actually being told "hey, bored with you now. later"

This may all backfire. Blow up in my face. But I guess it'll be a good way to see who actually gives a fuck, ya know?  I was going to delete this blog, as well.....but eh. I might check it sometimes. I may even post something. I dunno. All I know is that I really need to get a life.....

.....and I can't do that if I'm sitting in front of my computer screen 99% of the time.....

laters, y'all