So, yeah, I haven't blogged in a few months. It seems like everything that pops into my head these days, I've already blogged to death about, so let's see what happens after nearly 6 months of keeping my mouth shut, k? :D
Same job. Still single. Bored 90% of my free time. Still having a lot of conversations that turn into nothing. *shrug* Oh well. You can't force someone to like you. You can't force someone to let you into their world. You can't force someone to care about the fact that YOU care about them. That's just the way it goes.
People will disappoint you daily. They'll hurt your feelings and have no idea that they've done it.
You're just a faceless name on a computer screen; armed with nothing but your wit and emojis. This is what it's all come down to.
You're judged on things you "like" on Facebook. Judged by the things you share. Judged by comments made and who made them. They pick up on every.single.little.thing. and make assumptions. They think they know you.
Please. If I put half the shit in my head on my Facebook page, I wouldn't have any friends left. Well, except my diehards. (love you guys that stick with me 24/7 no matter what!)
Ok, so here it is. Some random shit that people may or may not know about me:
I LOVE MY CHILDREN WITH ALL THAT IS IN ME. I have 2 wonderful, amazing, intelligent, handsome, talented teenage boys. They are my heart and soul. Of course, they are teenagers, so Mama is so uncool...and lame...and "omg Mom stop acting like a teenage white girl"........ lol LOVE those boys! :) They are what keep me going every single day.
Yep, I LOVE pizza. Do I eat it 24/7? No. As much as I can? Yes. Do I overeat when I have pizza? No. I usually have 2 slices....3 if I feel like "pigging out".
I like Blackberry Wine. Do I drink everyday? Not hardly. I've had the same bottle of wine in my fridge since New Years. Didn't realize that wine actually goes bad. Woops.
I love cats. Yes, I do. I miss my kitties; but I had to rehome them. For the sake of my sanity and the cleanliness of my apartment. No more pets until I actually live somewhere where there is room for them.
I am terminally single. Eh, Maybe. Maybe not. At this point, I've given up on dating. I thought if I found someone special while still "pleasantly plump" (to put it nicely) that it would mean that they liked me for who I am and didn't put importance on something as shallow as body type. The way I see it, WHEN I lose weight and have a more "socially acceptable" body, any guy who suddenly decides they are interested in me after rejecting me can take a flying leap. Whether or not I have extra cushion on my body is irrelevant to the person I am inside. I will still have the same brain and the same heart. If you can't see how awesome I am NOW, fuck you if you suddenly decide I am awesome after I lose weight. Because, yes, I did stop trying for awhile on purpose. BUT guess what? My health is FINE. I get a biometric screening EVERY YEAR and I'm a lot healthier than some thin people out there. Just sayin. However, that was a very lonely year. Took me awhile to decide that alone doesn't have to mean lonely. I'm perfectly fine being alone and spending my free time on Netflix. But I know it's time to start trying again. If nothing else just to feel better about myself.
Abortion: I'm against it if you are using it as birth control. Take responsibility for your actions. Don't be a slut. Use ACTUAL birth control. However, I believe that in the case of rape, incest, or if it could be fatal to the mother--it should be an option. I don't believe that a survivor of one trauma should have to go through the trauma of carrying a child resulting from said trauma. That causes mental issues.
Mental health: An issue that really needs more awareness. It's a brain thing, people. Depression, anxiety, and so many mental disorders out there are so misunderstood and stigmatized and they shouldn't be!! This particular topic deserves it's own blog post. Too much to say about it. Maybe that will be the topic of my next blog. Until then #AlwaysKeepFighting. (Those who know, know. Those who don't, tune in next time.)
Gay marriage: None of my business and none of yours. Enough said. Marriage is a legal contract, if someone wants to be legally bound so someone else, who are we to stop it? Religions have marriage CEREMONIES. Has nothing to do with the legal aspects of it. Separation of church and state is there for a reason.
Weed: Personally, I do not partake. I grew out of that when I was a teenager. Do I judge others who do? Nope. Have at it. Should it be legalized? Sure, tax the hell out of it and use that money to improve schools, roads, social programs, etc. I know some people who would finally have a decent career if it was legalized....lol Treat it like tobacco and alcohol. Easy peasy, right? I hear it is also great for medicinal use. Fantastic! If it were legal would I partake? Seriously, I do not know. That would depend on a lot of things. I would certainly not lose my job over it, though.
Politics: Politics piss me off and I prefer not to discuss it, to be completely honest. I pay attention and see who is doing what and I vote. But don't ask me who or what I've voted for because quite simply, it's none of your business.
Child support: In the past I've been on both sides of this debate. I've paid it, I've received it. The way I see it, I think the whole system should be GONE. It's called SHARED PARENTING PEOPLE. Both parents SHOULD have their children an EQUAL amount of time and no one should have to pay anyone for their right to see their child. There should be shared responsibilities. BOTH parents pay for medical expenses. BOTH parents should pay for school clothes and supplies. I realize that in the real world, this is not always a viable option; but I feel it should be what is strived for. I don't believe that a mother who receives child support should have to show receipts for everything they have spent that money on. Does your kid have a roof over their head? Does your child have sufficient food? THEN SHUT THE EFF UP. What she does with HER OWN money is none of your damn business. HOWEVER, women who don't have a job and use their child support as their only income....THAT would be the only instance in which I would agree with it. Don't be going out and getting your nails did if your kids needs clothes or medicine, or whatever else COMES FIRST.
Don't use your kids as pawns in whatever differences you have with your ex. Be a grown ass human being, ok? Ladies, if the father of your child (or children) WANT to be a part of that child's life, LET HIM. REGARDLESS if he is able to pay child support or not. WHY? Because there are too many kids growing up without fathers because of this stupid shit! Too many children who do not know HALF of their family because a man doesn't WANT to step up and be a father! The ones who WANT to be a father LET THEM BE FATHERS!! I could go on and on about this, but I think that's enough. I may end up talking about a specific situation that makes my blood boil and that would not be a good idea. Next topic.
I like to write poetry. I'm mushy. I'm a hopeless romantic. Ask anyone who has ever dated me. LOL I go a little overboard when I'm in love. I LOVE love. I'm a dork and big hearted girl. I come on too strong. When I like someone, I want to talk to them constantly! I like to hear their voice and be around them as much possible. Especially if we're dating. I can't help it! I get too excited about that stuff. LOL Good Lord, it's been so long, I'm not sure if I'd remember how to be in love anymore.
I'm the weird girl that stays friends with exes. They are exes for a reason, but that doesn't mean I can't move on and have a platonic relationship with them. Doesn't mean I hang out with any of them. Doesn't mean I have long chats with them. Doesn't mean I still want to have a romantic relationship with them, either. I care about people. I don't just STOP caring about someone because their role in my life is different. Sure there's always one or two "what ifs" but ya know, I've stopped thinking about those, too. Because if someone is meant to be in your life in that way, they won't change their role. I've learned not to hang on to hope if the circumstances behind the goodbye are complicated. It was something. Now it's not. It's over and done. Time to move on. Doesn't mean I have to cut that person out of my life completely.
Hmmm, what else? Oh, perhaps THE most important thing to know about me. I LOVE GOD. I LOVE JESUS. I may not preach to people and shout it from the rooftops, but I DO BELIEVE. I don't shove it down everyone's throat or judge anyone who doesn't believe in God. It's a personal choice and other people's choices are NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Just like my choices are none of anyone else's business. Do I go to church: no. There are personal reasons for that; which, again, are nobody else's business. I'm not perfect. Obviously, I use some language that's not very Christian-like and I don't always make the right decisions. But that's between me and God and nobody else. Same goes with EVERYONE. I believe that God knows what he's doing and I need to have faith that everything happens for a reason. We don't always get to know that reason. We don't have to like it, but that's the way it is.
I pray. I talk to God all the time. Do I get answers? Not really. But I have faith that one day everything in my life will make perfect sense. I pray that this world will wake up. See what we're doing to this planet and to each other. I pray for more love in this world. I pray for more acceptance in this world. I pray for less violence. Less drugs, less sadness, less illness, and less judgement ALL AROUND.
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE KIND TO EACH OTHER???? I will never understand why there is so much hate in this world when there is so much LOVE all around us!! I understand that people don't have the same kind of heart that I do, but why hate? Why be so hateful to people that you do not personally know??? It baffles me.
Ignore the shit that offends you. Unless it's harmful to someone else...then by all means speak up and let your voice be heard!
The things that I feel are important in life may not be the same as others, I get that. Important things in life to me are getting up and going work. Coming home and being with my children. Love all that I can and be there for people who need me. I don't get worked up over politics, sports, reality shows, or who is doing what or who said this about someone else. Just live your life and don't try to disrupt someone else's life. It's pretty simple really.
In a perfect world, there would be jobs for everyone. Love for everyone. No struggle. But the world is not perfect. There are no perfect people. The struggle is what gives us strength. Hope gives us strength. Faith gives us strength.
It's just that when things get tough, nothing is going our way, and we want to give up; we forget that we have that strength within us all. That's what we need each other for....to remind us that we all are precious. We ALL have value. We all have a right to be loved. We all have the right to feel safe. We all have the right feel like we matter to someone. To anyone.
So, to everyone who decides to read this whole blog post (wow, it's a long one huh?!) I want you all to know that you matter to me. I may not be famous or popular. Or anyone of important significance, but you matter to ME.
Love each other people. That's all we really have to take with us when we leave this world. Love is all that matters.
.....and that, my friends, is the real Cass Music. Standing up and saying hello. Like it or love it, up to you. Either way, I'm going to be just fine.
Peace and Love, y'all
<3
No comments:
Post a Comment