So, you know how people are always saying that they never know when to give up and when to try harder? Well, I'm there.
Just when I want to give up, there's a look. A smile. A frown. Just looking at him, I'm drawn right back in. How did I miss this before?
We were involved once; it didn't last long because I wasn't ready and too afraid of getting hurt again. I pushed him away a long time ago and I regret doing that now. Once I realized that there were still feelings for him lingering around, I also realized that it's most likely the reason that any other relationship after him didn't work out.
He doesn't know what he wants. I'm thinking he's probably got other girls trying to get his attention....and why wouldn't he? I could go on and on about this guy but I won't.
I'll just say that he's very special to me. I'm posting this because I can't stop thinking about him. Our memories from before, our memories throughout the years that we've known each other, our recent memories (although very brief). I can't seem to stop thinking about him and all it took to stir it all back up again was a simple hug.
I told him I wouldn't give up on him and I'm not. I'm just waiting patiently for him to make up his mind. I could be the stupid fool, waiting around when he probably just wants nothing to do with me anymore.I just want to prove to him that not everyone walks away. I just want him to know that there is at least one person on this planet that would do anything for him. That someone will always care about him and what happens in his life. I don't know. I don't care at the moment. All I know is that I'm happy to know that my heart is still working and it feels good to feel again. Not sure if I'd ever tell him, but I think deep down he knows. Hell, I won't even say it out loud.
Maybe I should forget about it (probably would if I could); but for now....I wait...
<3
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