Crushes suck.

Not sure why I do this to myself.

You ever go back and re-read certain conversations to see where you went wrong? Oh well, at least I can read and laugh and just be glad those conversations happened, I guess. I wish I could just get him outta my head. This is totally not fair. 

Certain phrases he said just get to me...."We will", "You'll see", "I think this is the start of something pretty cool", "Don't go kissing any weird boys" (that was on New Year's Eve lol), and my personal favorite, "You're just as beautiful as I remember". *sigh* and now nothing but silence.

If I did something wrong, I have no idea what it was. I wish I did so I could apologize for it.

God, I miss talking to him. I miss how he made me smile.

I miss the way he made me laugh.

.....and those damn butterflies....it had been so long since I felt butterflies.

If he would have given it a chance, I probably would have fallen in love with him. Apparently, that's not what he wanted or he wouldn't have ghosted me. Again.

I'm actually shocked we haven't run into each other somewhere since we live in the same town. Hillsboro is really small compared to most places. Most girls would have given up by now and just forgotten about it. But not me. I gotta be the weird girl. I gotta be the girl with hope. I gotta be the girl who just wants to understand.
I gotta be the girl that can't stop thinking about him. I am so stupid. I told him I wasn't going anywhere.
....and here I am.

I'm still here.

Damn you, T.M.