New Year and all that jazz....

.....and look, it's 2013 and the world didn't end and there aren't any zombies running around looking for brains to feed on....imagine that!!

Sorry for neglecting this blog. Not that there are many reading it, however, I still feel bad about it. I guess I've been just living.

Not that I have anything super interesting or entertaining to report. It is what it is. I'm still working at the same place, still live in the same apartment and still spending too much time watching TV and hanging out on Facebook. My oldest son officially became a teenager. Fun stuff....however, that is a blog for another day. 
I do know that I will be trying to stock up on some Herbalife...those shakes are sooooo goooood!! I ended up losing 15 pounds in 2 weeks! It's just a little beyond my budget at the moment. I need to get in shape and really stick with a good plan this time. I say it every year, but dang it, I'm tired of being tired all the time. 

I know that's not what you want to read though....so let's get to the juicy stuff, shall we??

So, I've been in this on and off thing with this guy since September of 2011. (I know, right??) Sorry I haven't mentioned him before; I don't really  know why I haven't.  So here is some background to get y'all up to speed.

It all started with a random Facebook message. On my birthday, too. At first I ignored him; I mean, who's gonna just start talking to some random guy?? He could have been a serial killer for all I knew! However, we have several mutual friends on Facebook, so I didn't block him or anything.  I ignored him for a few weeks and he sent another message. I replied politely. Ignored him some more. Eventually, we were having random chats and he talked me into giving him my phone number. Then we texted for a bit. Eventually, I let him call me. That led to our first date. 4 months after he first contacted me.

Long story, short version: We started dating. Started a relationship. We got close. He met my kids, I met his kids.  Things were good. It scared me.
He ended up losing his job (no fault of his, he seriously got screwed, but that's his story to tell), lost his apartment, and ended up staying with me. That's when things started to get stressful. We broke up.

I missed him. We ended up back together right after new years. We broke up again right before Valentine's Day. We got back together in March....(I just couldn't leave him alone...)

Everything was ok until my hours at work started to go down. I wasn't making much money and I was struggling to pay the bills. I started to feel like he was using me (which was NOT the case) and when he did get a job, he helped when he could. His hours weren't that great, either.  I knew we were living together way too soon, but the situation just kind of snuck up on us and I got antsy. He was moody.  I was moody. We stopped communicating, we just kind of built up resentments.  We broke up again. 

That was about 6 months ago. He didn't even talk to me for a couple months. He said he couldn't be my friend feeling the way he felt about me.  So, I moved on.
Well, tried to anyway. 

This is where things kinda went weird on me. Talked to a couple of exes. (not like that! :P) Had a couple of major discussions that I needed to have. (see my July 2012 post)
It was like I had to put some things behind me once and for all. As soon as I did, I saw how big of a mistake I made.

During that time, he contacted me and said that it was selfish of him not to want to be my friend.  Even then, I told him we'd never be more than friends again.  He said Ok...and then told me about a girl he met that he had feelings for.
Boy, that green eyed monster came out fast.  So fast, that I didn't even realize I was jealous until she screwed him over and he was hurting. I wanted to knock her out!! Ugh...soooo....

Now, he lives in another state to be closer to his kids. I'm sitting here missing him like crazy and I told him so. We've been talking a lot the last few months (since about October, I think) 

It's funny how this has been an on and off thing....we are still currently "off" but I'm cautiously optimistic. We can make it work if we both REALLY tried.  For the moment, it's a waiting game.

So, that pretty much sums up my 2012....I spent New Year's with a bottle of blackberry wine and a marathon of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. And chattin it up  on facebook with the object of my affection. Wasn't too bad, he was the first to wish me a Happy New Year......
......and it seemed fitting.

I can't wait to see what 2013 is going to bring me.