The first boy I loved I never really dated. We shared a few kisses, a couple slow dances, and a song....but he never chose me. Ah the teenage first love is always doomed.
The second boy I loved, I gave him my body. We were supposed to get married. Instead, he cheated on me.
The third boy I loved went to juvie for rape.
The fourth boy I loved--ghosted.
The fifth boy I loved dumped me for his ex.
The sixth boy I loved, I left because he was mentally unstable and had a temper. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. He gave me a son but stayed out of our lives.
The first man I loved made me a wife and gave me another son, but was distant and cared more about strangers and his work than our family. We tried to make it work for 7 years. It didn't.
The second man I loved made me his wife.....then he cheated and left me for her because he fell in love. Less than 2 years after we got married.
The third man I loved had to follow his ex out of state just to be with his kids--Twice. I haven't seen him in almost 3 years.
All but 3 of these men are now married. All but 1 are in a relationship. Then there is one that I don't even know what his status is, because as I said before, he's stayed out of my life.
So, what's love ever done for me to make me still want it? While it has given me memories and my children, it hasn't given me anything else but lies, pain, and feeling like it's my fault. Apparently I was the problem, considering most of them are married now.
So, why am I not good enough for a love that lasts?
Every time I love, I get hurt. Perhaps it's just not meant for me.
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