Life.....or something that resembles it....

So, after realizing that I pushed someone away that I shouldn't have, I reached out and tried to correct that mistake. It didn't go as well as I wanted it to. In fact, I guess you could say I deserve what happened, which was NOTHING. He was cold and distant; I can't say I blame him for it, tho.

I truly wish that he could understand where I was at that point. I was still reeling...still in denial over my failed marriage, and my heart had not truly let go of that pain. Would it have been fair to HIM if I had started a relationship with him when my mind and heart was elsewhere? I was a mess. I didn't want to end up hurting him. I knew I wasn't ready for anything more than a friendship with him. Maybe it would have helped me get past things faster, but I couldn't FEEL. It's not fair to start something with someone if you can't FEEL anything.

Well, I'm feeling it now. Regret. Disappointment that it may be too late. Sad....because he truly is someone special...and it's my own fault for turning away a man who actually liked me and accepted me for ME. I'm an idiot for walking away from him.

Goodbye, Numb.....Hello, regret.......